Warning, may contain spoilers for season 1 and 2. Either general or specific and while I try to keep them to a minimum, you will find spoilers! You've been warned!

While I've actually been dreading this review, I can't help but talk about it. Because apparently, talking about it with my friend is out of the question. She gets a little too sensitive about it, like a lot of people about this show as you may have noticed.

I initially had no intention of seeing this show. I know, shocker right? But my tastes steer more towards the supernatural/quirky/dark type of shows. Plus, I'm still having Oz withdrawals. But, my friend had been begging and pleading with me to watch this show and I finally relented. After all, what was I doing anyway? Not to mention, everywhere I turned, there were people having heart attacks from how good this show supposedly was. As usual, I like to wait until the heat dies down before I jump into a show. That way, I can consume it on my time and give me room to think about it before forming my opinion. So here it goes.

At first watch, this show was pretty damn good. What Oz did for male prisons, this show is doing that for female prisons. Just as rough, just as deliciously scandalous, and just as interesting. After episode one and finding out how and why Piper Chapman, played by Taylor Schilling, went to prison, I found myself clicking episode two and episode three. I couldn't stop watching. I was so engrossed by these women and the lives they have created behind bars. That is a place I never want to be. I don't ever want to go to prison. No privacy, you can't get a decent night's sleep, sleazy guards, and the like. This is not an inviting place. And the things these women have had to do in order to survive in this place is just wow. And seeing all of their backstories and how they got there was very intriguing and I just kept clicking episode after episode, wanting to see more and more of it. Thank goodness this was on Netflix! I have no clue how I would have survived if this show came on week by week on HBO or Showtime.

Having said that, as the episodes kept drumming along, I found myself caring more about the other girls than about Piper. While this is no reflection on the actress, I just found her character to be dull and boring compared to how lively and three-dimensional the other women are. I found myself almost hating Piper because she was a self absorbed, selfish woman who had that whole "poor me because I'm blond and pretty" thing going for her which she thought was working. It wasn't. 

Roll over the text in-between the asterisks if you want to see some minor spoilers.

* Piper ended up going to jail because in her youth, she smuggled drugs across countries for her girlfriend Alex Vause, played by Laura Prepon, who's in the prison with her. Alex ratted out Piper which was messed up, but what can you do? The whole time Piper is in here, she's fluctuating between hating Alex because she knows Alex named her, and kind of loving her because Alex just happens to be Piper's kryptonite. Everyone has that one person they will just never get over right? That's Alex.

And while in the flashbacks we see their relationship and how they were with each other, I found myself hating Piper because she was just so disgustingly selfish. Oh poor her, Alex named her for drugs she agreed to smuggle. Poor her, her friends are getting along without her because she got herself in this mess in the first place. Poor her, that Larry, played by Jason Biggs, wrote an article about her being in prison in order to get famous. She has an excuse for everything that happens to her and it just so happens to not be her fault at all. She keeps acting like the victim in all of this, destroying the people around her, because she doesn't know how to be accountable for all the mistakes she has made in her life. *

This is the second time I've found myself hating a main character. The first time was in the "Uglies" Series by Scott Westerfeld. I hated that main character, just like I've grown to hate Piper. She just thinks nothing is her fault and the whole world has to stop because she doesn't like being in prison. Boo hoo. She says something wrong in front of the cook and she's outed by the whole kitchen staff and is starving. Poor her that Red is so sensitive. Crazy Eyes AKA Suzanne, played by Uzo Aduba, becomes obsessed with her and calls her her prison wife. Poor Piper that Larry, played by Jason Biggs, and her long time friend Polly, played by Maria Dizzia, aren't too concerned that Crazy Eyes is obsessed with her. And Piper is on an on again off again war with Mr. Healy, a sick prick played excellently by Michael Harney. 

Roll over the text in-between the asterisks if you want to see some major spoilers.

* Soooo, Healy has a huge chip on his shoulder. The reason I called him a sick prick is because he's a little racist when he talks to Piper as his ally because he believes they're cut from the same cloth. He doesn't explicitly say it, but because she's upper middle class, white, and blonde, they have a lot in common. He tells her to keep her head down and not to stir up trouble and not participate in lesbian activities and she should be just fine. But she gets sucked into the politics at the prison anyway and when Larry writes that column, he gets his little feelings hurt over what she said about him. So now, they're enemies.

And Piper tries to win him over, but he just won't have it. He stops giving her special treatment and he tasks her with things in order to get his way while reneging on what he promised to do for her. He wanted to her to find out how an inmate was taking pictures of her hoo ha and he wanted her to bring that person to him. She finds out who it was, gives him the cell phone, but she won't out who had it. He takes this personally as he usually does, and now he doesn't like her again, because she has chosen the inmates over him. *

Stop above if you don't want any huge spoilers.

Warning, MAJOR SEASON 1 FINALE SPOILER AHEAD!

* He's gotten so fed up with Piper's antics that when Pennsatucky, played by the delightful Taryn Manning, started to sic her fanatical rantings on Piper and verbally abuse her, Healy basically said it wasn't his problem. Then at the season finale, Pennsatucky just would not stop, and they ended up outside together. Healy takes one look at what's about to go on, Piper is pleading for him, begging for him to intercede, and he turns his back! Just like that, tells her she's on her own and walks back inside. Pennsatucky starts whaling on her, hitting her, and beating her up. Piper, with nothing to lose, beats the ever loving hell out of Pennsatucky. Messed her up so badly that in season 2, Pennsatucky had no teeth. None! Courtesy of the state, she gets a whole new set of chompers.  And he just let that mess happen! He's sick! *

But enough about them, I will share with you my favorite inmates and will include some things from season 1 and season 2 with as little spoilers as I can. 

First and foremost, Poussey Washington, played by Samira Wiley. I absolutely adore this girl! She has completely stole the show for me. In season 1, she was just this cool black chick cracking jokes left and right, and she cared deeply about her friend. You didn't get too much about her from season 1 but you learned enough about her to make you love her. I was surprised by how well the show has captured all the diverse women. Especially black women. So often, we come off as angry/ghetto women who's always snapping their fingers or complaining about a man or they're loud. That's so not the case with this show. These women are real and wholly three dimensional. By season 2, we've learned a lot more. She's a lesbian, her dad was in the military, and she's made quite a few mistakes from there. We're still unsure about why she got locked up, but hey, there's like a million other characters. We can't learn absolutely everything right now. And that's okay. 

With the introduction of Vee in season 2, you really get to see where loyalties lie in this show and I was happy with the way Poussey stuck to her guns and her moral compass was firmly pointing North. I won't say too much about it, but her arc with that whole thing just felt right. It's exactly the way I would have gone if I was writing the show. Samira is a beautiful, talented actress and I can't wait for a long career from her.

Next is Red, played by Kate Mulgrew. I freakin' love Red! She is a super strong Russian woman who takes no mess from anyone, not even the guards. In the first season, Red is in charge of the kitchen. While not always good, she works with what she got. And she smuggles in products for the ladies like nail polish and the like through the kitchen. But she has a strict no drugs policy. That's how people get in trouble! You learn in season 1 that she owned a little restaurant, she was married to a short bald man who worked for this Russian crime boss. You also learn that she was a little more timid than what she is when she gets to the prison. She wanted to be friends with the other Russian wives but they just would not give her the time of day. I know those feels! You still don't quite learn why Red got put there, even in season 2. But in season 2, you do learn how she became the woman that she is. I won't ruin it with spoilers, but you do understand why she became who she is now and again, I was happy with the way her storyline went. I think there's no other logical way for that to have transpired. 

Next is Taystee AKA Tasha Jefferson, played by Danielle Brooks. I have a love/hate relationship with  Taystee. I loved her in the first season. She was a smart, educated black woman who loved to read and took care of the library. She was loyal to her friends, she cracked jokes as much as anyone else, and she believed whole heartedly that if you just keep your head down and work as hard as you can, everything is supposed to be okay. Cute idealism, but that's not the way life works. I thought her storyline went as well as expected. Again, there's a million characters, not everyone is going to get something at once. We actually learn more about her in season 2 as her storyline is closely wrapped up in new arrival Vee. 

Here's where I begin to sort of hate her. Without any spoilers, I can say that she just became so two-faced, that I found myself cringing every time she came on screen. Here's why. 

Roll over the text in-between the asterisks if you want to see some MAJOR spoilers.

* So Vee was this huge drug boss and she took in wayward orphan kids that no one wanted, taught them the business and as long as they were good to her, she was good to them. Taystee, having worked at a fast food joint, needed more money and more freedom. So she ended up working for Vee. Taystee feels like Vee saved her so she feels like she owes her something. When Vee arrives at the prison, she immediately starts trying to take over. She bested the Latinas, gained control of the blacks, and beat the ever living spit out of Red in order to take over her tunnel smuggling business now that Red lost her kitchen. Then, she began her own business inside. She smuggled in tobacco through the cleaning supplies in waste management. They began making their own cigarettes and selling them for stamps on the inside. 

Immediately, Poussey knew there was something wrong and tried to tell Taystee about it. She knew Vee was dangerous and she kept trying to tell Taystee that she didn't owe her anything. Taystee, being the two-faced fake person that she became, ignored Poussey and hung on to every word Vee said. Vee had Poussey beat up, she ruined their friendship saying Poussey was in love with her, and everything under the sun to keep them apart. Taystee just went along with it. No loyalty whatsoever. But towards the end of the season, Taystee didn't know how to reconcile her mother figure and her best friend. So Vee had everyone ice her out for still somewhat sticking up for Poussey. Iced her out and she still wanted stick up for Vee. What? I'm sorry but that was just so fake. No amount of "saving" inspired that much loyalty. For her to turn her back on her best friend inside is just insane. *

Next is Lorna Morello, played by Yael Stone. At first, Morello was this sweet, romantic girl who was planning her wedding with someone named Christopher. She was so smitten with him that it made it tragic that she was in prison. It really made you wonder why she was there. Unfortunately, you didn't get anything about her background or why she was there until season 2 and that was okay. She was nice to everyone, she made herself pretty with makeup and headbands, and she was just an all around cool chick. Season 2 however answered a lot of questions about Christopher and why she was in the joint and the things she did this season! I have never seen something like that, didn't even know it was possible, but they did it. I won't ruin it, but my eyebrows were firmly to the sky as all my questions were answered. It definitely explained a whole lot about her and I thought it was just brilliant. 

And finally Daya and Bennett played by Dascha Polanco and Matt McGorry respectively. These two are wrapped together because, as no secret from trailers and promo posters, they end up together. Here's one of the greatest love stories to come out of this show. It's a roughly all girl's show so any hint of romance will either come from flashbacks or between two girls. And let's not forget that Daya is an inmate and Bennett is a guard. Strictly a no no. But considering that the staff at this prison are mostly all males, it's inevitable that a relationship would bloom. 

But I thought it was the most cutest blossoming relationship I have ever seen. Their meet cute was when Bennett was making his rounds and Daya asked if she could have a stick of gum. He said no in public of course, but when she looked under her pillow later, there was a stick of gum. How cute! And she began drawing pictures for him and he began sneaking off with her, I just thought their relationship was what I  always dreamed of having. Season 1 treated their relationship so delicately that I was practically swooning and smiling like an idiot whenever they were together. Their chemistry was just so electric, that I could actually believed that they liked each other. But then here comes season two and where things get a little complicated. 

Roll over the text in-between the asterisks if you want to see some MAJOR spoilers.

* Soo, in an effort to get rid of Pornstache, AKA George Mendez, played by Pablo Schreiber, the Latinas and Red came up with a plan to frame him for having sex with Daya since management was catching wind of inappropriate relationships between guards and inmates. Wanting to save Bennett, Daya volunteers. So they blame Mendez and he ends up getting fired but now he can't live without Daya and keeps sending her love letters and claiming he's in love with her.

But then in season 2, we find out she's pregnant. Of course she is. Honestly, I could have done without. The writers certainly could have come up with problems for our young Romeo and Juliet and they chose the nuclear option. As usual. Now this couple has completely done a 180. She's trying to keep her pregnancy a secret from management and she's moody and bitter and mad at Bennett because they can't have the fairy tale romance she really wants. I get that. But she keeps blaming Bennett for them not being together, demands he turn himself in for sleeping with her, because all of a sudden she's feeling guilty about what happened to Mendez, and she just keeps requesting the moon from him and gets mad when he only produces a star. 

And Bennett keeps bending over backwards to accommodate her. Why? Instead of a cute romantic lead, he's become a joke as he seems flustered over every little mood change that Daya has. And now, the whole Latina community knows about them two and they start blackmailing him for things like iPods, cell phones, candy and the like. What? And then, he shows a little backbone, says no, and threatens to lock them up in solitary if they try it again, and Daya wants to sit there and get mad at him. What? I just don't understand this at all. Why would they put these two together only to have them morph into polar opposites? I just don't get it. *

While this show is good, I will give it that, and you end up binge watching it and staying up for days only to wonder what's wrong with you, by season's end I'm left feeling more than a little empty. At the end of season 1, I didn't know how to feel. Excited for season 2? Happy with the way things turned out? Questioning what the hell I just saw? I'm not sure, and I thought that feeling would pass as the months went on and promos for season 2 began to surface. But it didn't. I had so many problems with the first season and how some of the story lines played out that I kept asking myself, why I was watching it. Just to fulfill a promise to a friend? Because I wanted to see it? I don't know.

I just felt wrong, somehow. I feel like the finale did what it was supposed to but it was such a giant leap away from where they started that I was left scratching my head as so why they went that way in the first place. Then when the promos for season 2 surfaced, I did find myself excited. The promos looked better than the season 1 finale. But as I began to watch season 2, I was even more disgusted with the way these women began to interact. Some story lines were justified. Others, I kept asking, "Well, how the hell did you get to that?!" And my favorite characters from season 1 began to change and morph and make decisions so far deviated from where they started, that I was literally cringing in every single scene. The season 2 finale didn't leave me with much hope for season 3. In fact, I'm saying right here that I'm not going to watch season 3. One disappointing season was one thing. Two, now you're just breaking my heart and I can't go through another roller coaster of disappointment in season 3. I binge watched season 2 so by the time I got to the end, I was left with the same empty feeling. Granted, I felt a lot better with this end than season 1, but I was still empty. I don't know if spacing out the episodes would have made it any better. Maybe, sometimes, we need a little break in-between episodes to let the events really sink in and get you excited for the next episode. 

I just don't think I can go through with it. As a show, it is good, I highly recommend you see it and form your own opinions. As for me, it's no Oz replacement and that sucks. No where else on TV will you find another show that features so many diverse women who are as honest and truthful about themselves. They have fat women, skinny women, lesbians, straights, transgender women, butch women, girly girls, sexy women, unattractive women, black women, latinas, whites, old women and everything else under the sun. It just sucks that it's not the game changer I was hoping it would be.

Welp, I hope you enjoyed this review and if you have any comments or concerns, or want to defend the show, please, leave comments below!!